I'M BACK!!!!! YOU ASKED FOR IT!!!!!!
Well Jen and Stacey have both commented on the fact that I haven't blogged in while. And I'm not really sure why my sister is so concerned, I know she's not that interested in what's going on in my life or she would call a little more often!!! Anyway, I'm just finishing up some things at work so I thought while no one was here to interrupt I try this thing again. Once again I'm gonna try my best to get my computer set up at home next week, and then look out!!! Instead of wondering where I am, you guys will be telling me to shut up!!! No seriously, just really haven't felt like blogging, had a lot to say, but there's just something about writing or typing things...it suddenly becomes so real! And well I don't necessarily like to live in the "real world" I prefer "kayla's land" but for some reason, I'm the only one that lives in that town, cause no one ever seems to see things my way!!! Imagine that!!! Anyway, believe it or not, I've been a little down lately...no no it's true...as shocking as that may be...Kayla has been depressed!!!!! As Jamie has said "thinking can get you in trouble" and that is so true for me!!!! I'm 23 years old and honestly I think most of my problem is that I spend ENTIRELY too much time alone!!! I mean, I go to work, then come home...ALONE. That's pretty much the story of my life!!!! And at 23 I just don't think that's very healthy, and I know it's not for someone of my mentality!! And i'm pretty sure everyone will agree with me on that!!! I'm not complaining about my life really, cause i've got a pretty good one. Good job, good home, good family!!! Outside of those things is where I run into problems. Living in Jamestown, kinda has a lot to do with it because any of the friends that I had that still live here are all married with children, or on drugs!!! And well No Thanks!! And sure I can go to cookeville or murfreesboro every weekend but if I plan on making my life in Jamestown, it just seems as though I should kinda learn to live here! I just feel like running away from the problem isn't gonna solve it!!! This brings me to a really big question...."SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO NOW" (I always did like that song). And if I go...where do i go???? It's kinda sad cause as much as I was against the whole living in Jamestown thing.....really it's not that bad. But right now i'm 23 living across the driveway from my parents(don't get me wrong that's not all that bad, cause believe it or not they never bother me) and do i want to do that for the rest of my life!!! I think everyone knows that I have this horrible fear of ending up like (well I should say their name, but i'm thinking y'all know). Anyway that's my worst nightmare!!! Oh and another thing, I think i'm gonna change my name, because i have come to the conclusion that the name "kayla" means "second" in the language of the male species. So i've got to come up with something that means "first"!!! For once in my life I wanna be "the woman" and not "the other woman"(I can only imagine the comments i'm gonna get on this one) I'm just tired of being alone all the time!!! I think everyone will agree that i have come leaps and bounds from where I once was, but it's time to move on again!!! I'm just not sure in what direction!!!! Well i'm gonna close up shop here for the night!!!!! Everyone be nice!!!!!! BYE BYE!!!!
posted by Kayla @ 3:36 PM
4 Comments
4 Comments:
Well I guess I'll start it off......here goes....
Kayla, we'll pray for ya!!!ha.
And then we'll pray for a man. And then we'll pray for you a new name that means first!!!ha.ha...
I am only playing.....I really do feel for you but if it makes you feel any better I DO BELIEVE that everything happens for a reason and I REALLY DO THINK that your patience and trials and tribulations will really pay off. I believe you are going through all this to prepare you for what lies ahead and somehow I just have a gut feeling that it'll all be worth it someday!!!! HANG IN THERE!!!
Oh and by the way......GLAD TO HAVE YA BACK IN BLOGGER LAND!!!! DRAMA AND ALL!!!!!!
It is so very good to have you back in blogger land!!! I can't really say anything negative to what you said. You seem to know what you want it is just getting there. I'm not sure where to tell you start. As for living in Jamestown, you are a very lucky person to be provided with the things you have and I wouldn't be so fast to give them up if I were you. All us blogger people can tell you house payments are no fun and why pay one if you don't have to. As for you being "first" I know the first place to start to get to that place. You have to find someone who doesn't already have someone. I know that is easier said than done but like Stacey said it will all be worth it someday. You have learned far more in your 23 years than some learn in a life time. I really don't think you have enough faith in yourself. You are a very caring and beautiful individual give yourself credit where it is due. Stop playing second and you will stop being second. Okay I will be done now. I don't think any of that was bad. But just on a more happier note I am one who is VERY proud of you, you have come oh such a long way. Lots of prayers and crazy cousin later you are in a much better place in life!!!!
well well well let me start by saying when you find your man and have 2 children let me know how much time you have to call people....enough said about that.I think Jamie has a very good point stop with the 2nd stuff. I do think your options are very limited in j-town but you never know. Oh let us not forget that you are 23 not 43 so really it is not the end of the world yet. You still have plenty of time.
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